My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
