Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize