Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize