So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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