You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
