You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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