If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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