There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
