WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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