I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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