If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
