it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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