Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Your cock deserves a montage
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
