STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
