Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
