and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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