The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
