i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
