God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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