What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Everything about him screamed your future.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
