Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize