dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
