I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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