You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
