my phone needs a breathalizer
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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