Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
