so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
