is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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