the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
what day is it and did you see me today?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
