first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
be right there i have to get my cape
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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