Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
