I CAN MOONWALK!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
