I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I miss vodka workout Fridays
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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