We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
