Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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