You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
