It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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