Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
