I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
3pm strippers are depressing
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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