I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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