I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
