she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The feeling are messing with the penis
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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