Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
