So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
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i came on her dog
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
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Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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