With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
