they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
