with your own penis?
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
