Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
