Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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