I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
