she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
