The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Randomize
