I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
