im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
