And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
areolas are like halos for boobs.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
