Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
