Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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