I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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